trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
as a side note pls kill me
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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