I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
