I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My ass is underappreciated
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
