I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The adults are the big ones right?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
