I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
