shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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