im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
