"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
