she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
