I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
