I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize