he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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