I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
