i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
