Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
