mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
