If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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