Me. At least after what I've been through.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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