Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
