I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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