I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
