I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
