i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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