I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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