Non-Jews are for practice
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
