Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
not ubering you a puppy
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
