My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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