actually, I'm a sock model
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
