can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
