i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
