Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
