Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
