I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
