We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im drinking this country out of the recession.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I could make wine with my vomit
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
