He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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