Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
