Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
