She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
