I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
