D3 body, D1 cock
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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