Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
