you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
