Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
