Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
