Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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