Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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