ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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