Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
