just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
