She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
