I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize