Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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