If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
