We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
