oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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