so explain again why im purple
no
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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