Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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