So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
