very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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