i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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