lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
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